Post-Gina Blues

photo credit: Krisztina Tordai via photopin cc

photo credit: Krisztina Tordai via photopin cc

When vacation was over and Gina flew home, I was sad.  It felt weird, like I should be going back to the U.S. with her.  I pity partied.  Moped.  After that ran its course, I took an hour off of pretending to work and did some self-soothing over an iced coffee.Why doesn’t WordPress allow me to insert line breaks??   Side note: I’ve recently become very nervous that I’m going to get sued for copyright infringement for using random photos in this blog that two people read.  Notice my graduated blogger status, using photo credits. Seriously what the hell? Why can’t I figure out basic formatting?  I guess I’ll just continue to type in white. Just need a few more words heeeere.  

Also, I had an impossible time searching images for “self-soothe”.  Apparently soothing is an activity for couples, pregnant women, or babies.  No singles, please.

Without further ado, this is what I came up with.

Where are you, and why are you there?

Bangalore, India.  I’m here because I was really excited for it, chose to apply, and then campaigned heavily for it.

Why did you choose it?

  • Wanted a change from my job in Chicago
  • Wanted to work abroad and experience a different culture
  • Thought it’d help generally with personal & career growth
  • Reduce my expenses/have more money
  • Chance to travel

Has the assignment met expectations/the reasons you chose it?

  • Wanted a change – Yes, this is very different from what I was doing in Chicago, in all aspects.
  • Work abroad/different culture – YES.
  • Personal/career growth – This is still TBD, but probably
  • Make more money – Yes, I don’t pay rent so I’ve been able to pay off my credit card debt and save some money
  • Chance to travel – YES, I’ve been to Delhi (twice), Agra (twice), Jaipur, Goa, Maldives, and of course Bangalore

Why don’t you feel it’s enough/why aren’t you satisfied?

  • I miss my friends and family
  • I feel like I’m missing out on things at home
  • I’ve got a breakup that I feel like I won’t really get closure on until I’m back
  • I don’t feel like I can make friends/a life here knowing that I’m going to leave and (likely) never come back.

If you could go back in time, would you do anything differently?

No, I’d still choose to come to Bangalore.

Now that you’re here, would you ever do another international assignment?

No, not unless it was sometime in the future when I had a family and could bring them with me.

How can you better enjoy the rest of your time here?

  • Focus more on the positives – all the things I’ll miss when I eventually leave
  • Try not to dwell on the negatives – if anything make a note of them so that I can laugh at them later/on American soil
  • Try to spend time with people from work (outside of work).  Whether or not I’ll keep in touch once I leave is irrelevant, maybe we will maybe we won’t, but that’s true every time you make friends
  • Be more active about Skype-ing friends/family
  • Train for a marathon
    • Will help you get out and see Bangalore, maybe even meet new people
    • Will give you something to do in India besides work
    • Will help reduce feelings of limitation/fear with being an American woman in India
    • Will help you get in shape! (more energy, look good, endorphins, etc)
    • Gets focus off of “going home” 9/16 and onto something that’s actually productive with shorter, interim milestones
  • Buy a plant.  I’ve wanted to get one, but kept thinking there was no reason to since I was leaving soon.  Time to get out of the “I’m leaving soon” mentality so that I can enjoy what’s happening now.

—————————————————————————————————————

I did that Q&A session/to-do list a few weeks ago, and it helped, I think.  I did buy a plant, which has yet to die, and have started training for a marathon this fall.  This wasn’t even on the list, but I also decided to buy a guitar on a whim, then later justified it as a birthday gift to myself.  Stay tuned for updates on how much my fingers hurt (spoiler alert: a lot).

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